(IMAGE BY SOPHIA CHANG)(NOT PART OF THE COMMENTARY, ADDE BY ME)
COMMENTARY
COMMENTARY
A Psychiatrist's Elegy for Anthony Bourdain
Robert A. Berezin, MD
June 13, 2018
The heart of another is a
dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. – Willa Cather
I can't call him Tony
because I never met him. He is Anthony to me. I only know him from his
show, Parts Unknown. I never read Kitchen Confidential,
which is now next on my list. Yet I felt like he was my friend.
His death left us all in
shock and horror. It felt like such a betrayal. He was this profane Buddha. He
was Walt Whitman. He brought us together with the elegant basics: good food and
good company. He taught us that we are all one behind our races, our languages,
our cultures, our palates. He was giving and generous. He listened. He was a
citizen of the world, welcome at every table. Cultural differences added spice
to our cuisines. I'm sure he'd agree that we should all intermarry but keep our
ethnic foods.
His grisly suicide seemed
so outside the realm of possibility. But maybe not. The secret is, character
always plays true. He had the talent, and discipline, to follow his passion and
become a master chef. And yet, something always lurked back there. He was a bad
boy who never quite reformed from sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It haunted us
imperceptibly. It showed through like a pentimento. The heroin addiction was
back there. He always had the presence of mind to correctly say it was not a
disease. He took responsibility for his actions.
He spoke the truth with
that quiet smoky voice, from his cigarette-fueled past. He walked around in
that tattoo-stained body. He continued to drink and smoke weed with the best of
them. Despite his fearlessness, he always seemed wistful. Despite his martial
arts, I felt a fragility.
Only
Left to Speculate
I don't really know what
happened. I don't know what darkness lingered there. As a psychiatrist, I'm the
first person to say that the public has no idea about the real story behind the
story. We all have our impressions, our projections, our fantasies, but we have
no idea.
In watching him on
television, you could sense his aloneness, while the world invited him to their
table, as he engaged in that charming way he had. In retrospect, his
significant suicidalness after his first divorce may have foreshowed things to
come. We hoped this was behind him. Certainly he'd grown up since then. He
still made references to suicide. One never outgrows the need for love.
He recently appeared very
happy with his life. Relationship problems are the leading immediate cause of
suicide, along with finances, failure, loneliness, and loss. But often this is
not the real cause; rather, it's some internal darkness.
Our fantasies about
Anthony Bourdain died with him. He was a wonderful and inspiring, but flawed,
man. It's a huge deal that he was the father of an 11-year-old girl whom he
abandoned and betrayed.
Now, again I reiterate, I
don't know what caused the suicide. We are only left with speculation.
Something else unimaginable may yet come to light.
A
Disturbing Trend
We have a
rising toll of suicides in our world today, characterized by
extremely disturbing facts. In the United States, the suicide rate has gone up
nearly 30% in the past 18 years, and suicide is now the 10th leading cause of
death.[1]
This is a very
complicated issue without simple causes or solutions. We have Internet
bullying. We have too much loneliness and isolation. We have families in
dissolution. We have a preponderance of psychiatric treatments that now ignore
the heart and soul of what it is to be human. Life is difficult and requires
struggle, resilience, and caring to carry on.
One of the things I want
to emphasize is that we are all individuals. We have our own hidden worlds
behind public perceptions. We have our own private motivations that others
aren't privy to. Suicide weakens the faith of others to keep on going and
embrace the struggle that is life. Suicide is contagious. It makes the
survivors feel guilty. It makes us feel that there is something we could have
and should have done. The effect is to put blood on our hands where it doesn't
belong. I hope those close to him come through this misplaced guilt.
Bourdain's suicide is
particularly disturbing and undermining because he seemed to embody the courage
to go on and fight, put your demons behind you, and make the world a better
place. He seemed to have arrived. He seemed to embody helping people connect
and not be so alone. Food is love. He was a humanitarian who bridged
differences and brought truth and beauty to the world.
I'm so angry that he did
this. And I will miss him like he was someone that I know and love.
Cite this article: A
Psychiatrist's Elegy for Anthony
Bourdain - Medscape - Jun 13, 2018.
THIS UNEXPECTED UNWANTED UNNECESSARY SORROWFUL DEATH HAS AFFECTED PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD. I WOKE UP IN PARIS TO READ A NOTE SENT BY A FRIEND IN KL TO SAY BOURDAIN HAD DIED!
A GREAT LOSS.
