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jeudi 19 avril 2012

Noite de Saudade

When did that word enter my vocabulary?
Saudade.. Long before Cesaria Evora sang Sodade in 1994.
An unbridled sensation of nostalgia, mixed with a tenderness in which you feel you are in love with the world, and that you want that tenderness to spread to every one you know…
I am in one such moment.

I am with American Indians. As I was about to leave, JLP comes in, in his hands two photographs of me, with long hair taken the year I had begun to come here…. Once a month, rain or shine or snow…this loyalty has paid off, people now think of me not as a stranger who lives in far away lands but a member of the family who goes and comes back.
You must love us, because you come back, month after month…
You arrive back to the blue house where you are staying; the cold night is approaching, and the sensation that you had done something for others. A sacrifice for other people, they return their thanks mixed with their smiles.

I open the door; pour myself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc from Aoetearoa, that long white cloud of a land in our south…
Think of all those I love, starting with the little ones. How I wish Miss Ruby were here. Calling me Oncle Oncle.
Grateful for Paris, Grateful for Hocank and UmonHon Indians, and the Lakota whom I would visit next week…
This nostalgia is a combination of love and affection that you have in your life, and the sudden desire to poses them knowing it is far away…
I had Caspian Caviar with a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Oz just recently at Le Rits, in Phnom Penh.
The names of the cities roll of your tongue without difficulty, who was holding my hands in that resto in Palermo, in that distant land that produces a good drop of Malbec? Was it only yesterday or was it years ago?
I listened to Enrico Macias, born Gaston Ghranassia in Constantine, Algeria to where his Andalusian Jewish ancestors had been exiled in 1492. Jewish music that survives as Chaabi in among the Berbers of North Africa. Ya Rayah. A popular song indeed, sung by that great Dahmane El Harrachi but popularized by Enrico Macias. Longing for his land, visa denied because he is Jew who also loves Israel…
Yasmin Levy whose father was the editor of aki yerushalayim , the ladino newspaper from Israel, who sings very haunting Judeo-Spanish songs of the Middle Ages.
I listen to them one by one, and as always a song by my all time favourite, Cesaria Evora.

Dear friends and other lovers, thanks for being here with me, as I write this full of love for all of you.

Soheil nafisi, Ahmed Shamlou. what a great poet. How does he conjure up such images?
A nice day among the Indians, content to be a Jew, content to be a lover to my friends, content to be a human being away from the commercialism of profit and losses.
My first visit to Jakarta begins in just a few days. Do you remember, Multatali? Pramoedya Ananta Toer?
Ah well I am traveling to their lands.

Gracias, mis amigos, muito obrigado...