ALTRUISM Give of yourself till it hurts!

True Giving

Altruism is giving that which you cannot afford, said my father, once upon a time.

I was with an UmonHon Indian friend of mine, at the parking lot of a shopping mall. She introduced me to a huge Indian young man. This is my cousin, and then the usual pleasantries.

H e was with an ordinary looking white young woman, with a baby of two years in her arms, and the Indian was carrying an infant of about six months of age.  Both children looked well fed and content, very white, and happy. A perfect picture?

A cameo of life in America, a young couple, one Indian and one white, a family picture, cleanly dressed, nothing elegant, but neat.

But there is more to this scene that meets the eye. Even though the couple have been together for nearly one year, neither of the children are his. He had met her while she was three months pregnant, had been her companion through her pregnancy, lives with her and looks after her and the two children. In fact, it is correct to say she lives with him, since  he is the one who works and supports them.

What is the origin of such generosity among the Indians, that they would sacrifice themselves so that others can have and can live?

Nature and Nurture, I would guess. People who are used to live in small tribal communities, all over the world, know the importance of being there for others, in times of stress and sadness, to put themselves out so that the society is evened out with no major ripples in the daily activities of the tribe.

In this case, nurture also plays an important role, a role model in his mother.

His mother is employed as a cleaner at a hotel, earning the minimum wage of $6.25 per hour, so that one days work for her will bring her $50, with no added social benefits, such as Health Insurance.

She befriended a young white single mother, who was alcohol dependent, and occasionally helped her out babysitting while the mother looked for work. The child bonded with her, and as the single mother was alcoholic and unemployed the child would spend more and more time with this lady and of course she had barely enough money to support herself, after paying the rent and other expenses. Remember $50 per day is below the Poverty Level in the USA. She was quite happy to take on this additional responsibility.  While the mother attended the clinics for her alcohol addiction, where do you think the child spent its time? Of course with this Indian Lady!

This is a very Indian characteristic. Giving till it hurts, like they say.  

You see examples of this in the Indian reservation all the time, people giving their last dollars when a ceremony is being held, sharing what they have, taking food home to the elders so that they don’t go hungry. 

Do the European Americans understand this?

The White Teachers at the Reservation School always complain that the Indian parents are not interested in the education of their children, unlike the White parents in White schools, where the parents are actively volunteering for the school activities. What these teachers don’t realize is brought to me one day when an Indian Elder said to me:

Our entire life is one of Voluntarism..

This is what constitute the major part of the social life of the Indians in these current times.  Among Indians, doing chores for others, giving lifts to people without cars, taking relatives to nearby towns to get food and other goods, baby sit while parents are away , working or playing.

What you do for others is the measure of you as a person, said an Elder to me. It resonates well with me, prepared for the solidarity of the social life in Cuba and humanitarian efforts in Cambodia, Myanmar and Jamaica among others..

Of the many gifts I have received in my life, one of the more significant one is the chance to work with Indians, as the Native Americans are known to the outside world

MAY 2009 A WONDERFUL MONTH OF TRAVELS

 

It began with the Continental Airlines upgrading me to B/F on their flight from Houston to Paris, as I had missed their connection to New York. I didn’t mind staying over an extra day! After a few days in Paris, which was highlighted by the presence of my brother Yitzhak from Portland and his energetic and extremely amiable son, Shmulik.

Then I took off to Kuala Lumpur where a very busy schedule had been organized by my good friend MunChing: included meeting with interesting people in the Media Company, nice dinners, a garden of butterflies, a sweet Chinese lady by the name of Man Lee, a lovely Malaysian diplomat and on the last day, visit to the Cuban Embassy in KL. Also got to see some good friends from Kuala Trengannu.

The highlight of the trip was certainly the days spent in Rangoon with my sweeties from Chaungtha Beach. Thinking about their adventurous nature to come and see me in Rangoon and the generosity of William, brings a smile of contentment to my face. New friends made include a very sympathetic Indian Doctor and a very generous man who runs an Orphanage..

After a few more days in Paris, it was a nice Air France Flight to Miami, a delightful day spent in the company of my sister. Every one should have a sister like mine, so that the men/boys will understand the unselfish care of a woman and an unconditional love. We discovered a new asian fusion restaurant in South Miami and the next day I was off to the Indians.

The time spent with the Indians is soothing as it has been ever since I began visiting them, doing various medically related projects, while I was a professor of Anthropology in Havana. Indians admire Fidel very much and once during the ceremonies I heard them praying for his health, anyone who can stand up to their oppressors, they respect of course..

Now back in Paris, to consolidate some projects to be done, which has a worldwide appeal, with help from Maurits in Phnom Penh; Munching in KL; Ron in Washington State, MiHu of the UmonHon…

I have just arrived back in Paris. Looking forward to a Turkish Dinner at Derya; hope to meet another aficionado of Myanmar.. I am already very excited about my next trip.. As Air France would take me to San Cristobal de la Habana.. That city of faded portals and vibrant emotions 

You Listen Carefully, You will learn..say the Indians

I asked an Indian lady, whom I respect as an Educator among her people. Do you at times feel you are living in two different worlds?

I was thinking of the various changes that has taken place in the short period of three weeks in my life: Burma; Malaysia; Paris; Miami and now the Indians, and the constant changes I had to make in my thinking to be culturally sensitive and effective in some cases.

It is not that we have to live in two worlds, she corrected me, I have learned certain tools, you can say it is an expertise, which we can borrow from the other culture, so that we can be of better help to our people.

Indians never cease to amaze me and they have always an answer for me, if I am having any sort of emotional and intellectual conflicts. I had a wonderful time in Malaysia/Burma in the company of my Burmese, Malaysian and East Indian friends; then in Paris, a privileged life, but one that I have not integrated very well; to Miami to be with my sister, where I have to reconcile to so many different values: European, Jamaican and strong family systems.. and now with the Indians and thinking of my impending visit to my Little Lovely Island, mi isla rica, mi Cuba.

The lesson learned tonight is as follows, just because you have to surf through so many cultures in such short periods of times, don’t look at them as conflict causing, but look at each occasion as adding to your expertise to live among various cultures. Not all cultural interactions have to lead to conflicts.

I made a mental note to myself, the lack of integration on my part to the French Society is my own doing, in between the eagerness for Malaysia/Myanmar; obsession for Cuba; the desire to serve the Indian people…is my own doing, on my own volition.. it does not have to be that way. All my interactions are cross cultural.. and I have to be thankful for the expertise gained, with no inner or selfish arrogance about any one particular culture…as long as I don’t have a conflict about the cultures that I am comfortable with…

I am happy with cultures which have greater networks of social relationships.. Indians, Cubans, Asians, Jews are all good examples of that..

Thanks for that little lesson, dear friend, In this isolated village of Indians where I am now, far far away from Paris, La Habana or Kuala Lumpur.

A nice morning at the Native American Indian Clinic

One of the great pleasures of working with Indians is the pleasant encounter one can expect from the patients.

Two things was taught me from the beginning:

Always make sure that your patients leave happier than when they entered.

Show respect to each and every patient who sits in front of you.

 

For a medical student, a patient presenting with Vitiligo is an intellectual challenge since it makes him think of the various autoimmune dysfunctions one associates with that sign. I have looked after this patient for a very long time, and when he started complaining of atypical symptoms, I thought it was time to investigate other autoimmune failures associated with Vitiligo. Sure enough he had vitamin B12 deficiency which is easily corrected with monthly injections and the symptoms were relieved. He had a very responsible position within the tribe and many times, he would come with the stress of the finance management of the tribe which was his responsibility.

 

Today he comes to see me, not out of any medical necessity, but to check on the status. The first thing I noticed about him was that his face was radiant, there was a nice colour to his face and that there were fewer wrinkles on his face and his smooth face made him look much younger than his 69 years.

 

I am the greatest supporter of this clinic, he said. Years ago when I went to see a Specialist in the nearby town, he asked, how come you are so well aware of your health and know all the laboratory measurements. He proudly said, we have dedicated people running a clinic at the tribe and they come to your office and tell you what is happening, they call you up and make sure that you keep your appointment, and they don’t just focus on your medical problem but talk about other aspects of life of interest to me.

 

I was looking in the Electronic Health Records, under what category shall I record this visit?

His fasting Blood sugar and 2 hour post prandial sugars are below 100, thus ruling out Diabetes from biochemical point of view. His Blood Pressure today is 128/66 affirming the efficacy and frequency of intake of the medication prescribed. Hemoglobin A1C is 6.0.

 

I thought this would be the time to launch into my explanatory model for his wellness.

You look well, keyn eyn hora, I evoked a Yiddish prayer. Yes I feel well. I think you are well because of two things that come to my mind: the lack of stress in your life and the spiritual life you lead.

It is not up to me to talk about the Spiritual life, but it is up for others to say. A truly spiritual person knows that inside of him. I am not a man given to many words, and I don’t feel a need to speak at occasions when the community gets together. But I have noticed one thing.. normally at the end of a speech by a member of the community, it is followed by Aho.. the Indian equivalent of an applause.. but when I finish talking, it is followed by silence. I take it to mean that what I said, those words have had an effect and that the praise for them are inside of the listeners rather than in the open. If someone comes to speak to me about spirituality I would speak to them about it

To me, I said, when I saw you this morning, I felt a power, a connection to the universe and all the energies around us, and I told myself, here walks a man who is well connected with all that exists in this universe.

 

When you come to see me, this relationship we have, is not a doctor patient relationship but a relationship based on mutual respect and the exchange we have is based on that respect. There is medical and spiritual exchange between us without us naming it as such.

 

He then told me, two incidents. He had gone to see the Cardiologist in the nearby town and was subjected to a battery of tests at enormous expense and he was sitting there, not knowing what to ask since the doctor had not entered into any sort of discourse with him. He wanted to note down what to say, and what all the doctor was said that , here is a prescription for you, which will take care of the problem and that you can fill it at a Pharmacy.

He has had no conversations with the doctor, the doctor has not informed him of anything more than saying every thing is fine, and had not given him the opportunity to enter into a discourse about his health. He felt very disgusted and walked out, thanking all the time the fine service oriented health care he receives at the Indian Health Services.

 

We had a fine chat. This is what a medical consultation should be like, the patient is very satisfied, his questions answered plus he feels that he was able to enter and touch the human world that we all inhabit. The doctor feels good that the long trip has been worth while and that the Indians continue to teach him that connection to the Universe.. which many of us consider an essential part of Spirituality…

Life is a long vacation with intervals of work

The Pleasant Long Commute to work among the Los Indios..

 

How often do you begin your journey to work with a glass of French Champagne? I was inside the Air France Boeing 747-400, the last of the aircrafts to evoke romance and adventure, Seat 2K... Champagne, sil vous plait..

I was on my way to work.

People complain of long commute to work, but while pleasant, mine  is rather tortuous. Air France to Miami...Champagne...Foie de gras...Crevettes with noodles... cheese…a sweet wine to finish the dinner... a little sleep... write something... read something... within 9 hours, you are over Miami, and each and every time when my flight descends into Miami, I have the similar sensation of a lover waiting eagerly for his date..Miami never disappoints… Look a bit to the left... in the distance of less than 200 km lies San Cristobal de la Habana, with its fading portals and sensuality that traps the visitor into its tropical torpor… ah...through the Immigration and Customs in a jiffy, to the house of my sister. It is nice to have a sister, who also happens to be your confidante and counselor. It is my yardstick of friendship, if I introduce you to my sister Jackie (born in England but grew up in Jamaica), that is an indication that I like you... Her helper from Jamaica, I call her Miss Amazon because of her enormous size, had prepared a lovely spicy, stir fried dish of noodles, vegetables, stripes of beef… and the PG tips tea always tastes better at the home of my sister..

To lessen the impact of United States on my conscience and more importantly on my stomach, from whatever country I travel from, Miami is the first destination, it is that liminality of being neither here or there, which I like about Miami.. Also nice to have your sister and close friend living there, and who absolutely spoils you and looks after you... ah well...

She was driving me to the airport on my way to the Indians, to my work, for which I had entered USA, we wanted to have a Lebanese lunch at Maroosh in Coral Gables, she pointed out to an Asian Fusion restaurant in South Miami, called Origin, we changed plans and had a nice pan Asian fusion food, I tasted Amok made with Salmon, this humble national dish of Cambodia which always comes with the river/lake fish and my sister had a nice red curry with shrimp which had Thai flavours.

Time to say good bye to Miami, always a little sad even if I know that once again on June 10^th the same Air France flight will bring me back to Miami.

Time to go to work!

Continental Airlines, seat 2E, from Miami to Houston, the food was plenty but lacked the vital taste the French food has, this evening it was Reuben sandwich, which was too heavy for me, a lentil soup, a couple of glasses of Californian chardonnay… Houston to Omaha was on a Continental Flight again, seat 1B... I slept most of the way. I no longer feel Jet lag as it is classically described but falling asleep at inappropriate hours could describe  the effect of long flights on me...

The Midwesterners are extremely friendly, polite and welcoming. Would you like a Ford Lotus?  asked the man behind the AVIS rent a car counter; I had no idea what he was talking about... I said enthusiastically Yes, as long as it has satellite radio, so that I can listen to BBC world services as the grey scenery passes me by along these lonely roads, away from Kuala Lumpur, far away from Paris…Rangoon... these are the places I think of as I drive to get to work… I know some patients or other are waiting for me...

53 hours after leaving Paris, here I was driving into the parking lot of the Indian Clinic where I would be working for the next few days. Within minutes of entering the clinic, once again I have forgotten all the other lives... the one in Asia, the other in Paris, the third in Cuba... this is where I am now, my mind and body and soul are all here...i am quickly integrated into the rhythm of the life here, in this desolate part of the United States, which the Indians call The Turtle Island..

At Lunch, I drove 50 km to the next town and ate at a Vietnamese restaurant, which never changes its flavours, I had my perennial favourite, Bun ga Xao and my colleague had Bun Bo Hue, better than the one I tasted in Hue itself… ah well.. That is now another story...

Your Country, Leave it for a While.. You might Gain from It

LIVING ABROAD GIVES YOU A CREATIVE EDGE

To check that they had not merely discovered that creative people are more likely to choose to live abroad, Dr Maddux and Dr Galinsky identified and measured personality traits, such as openness to new experiences, that are known to predict creativity. They then used statistical controls to filter out such factors. Even after that had been done, the statistical relationship between living abroad and creativity remained, indicating that it is something from the experience of living in foreign parts that helps foster creativity.

Merely travelling abroad, however, was not enough. You do have to live there. Packing your beach towel and suntan lotion will not, by itself, make you Hemingway.

 

 

A good friend of mine from KL sent me this clipping from this week’s The Economist..

 

Living Abroad gives you a creative Edge..

 

Are the Jews born cleverer than others? A question from the school days.. part of the same propaganda about jews controlling the world trade or the Chinese being the asian jews..

Learned men has taught me, no it is not that a race is superior to another in intelligence, but certainly certain cultural characteristics can make them adapt well to a fluctuant life, which has characterized the jewish people over the centuries.

Recently at the annual celebration of the remembrance of the our slaver in Egypt nearly 3500 years ago, an important part of the ceremony is when the YOUNGEST is allowed to ask four questions. So the idea of questioning is instilled and a logic and reasoning taught indirectly to the child.

When I was a student in Swedent, the rabbi in Stockholm told me, Curiosity is the sign of Intelligence and all the cultures which nurture questioning and curiosity to know other things will be able adapt well in this world and survive and succeed..

This is what I thought about when I read this article.. yes going to Club Med is not going to get your neurons ticking, but living in another culture, will make you curious about the ambience which is alien to you.. and I always remember what my favourite writer in english language has once mentioned, talking about the turbulence of the West Indies he had grown up in..Out of conflicts come out action..

 

Australians travel and many of them live abroad for a while, and the country is better off for it. Being an Expat is different from being an immigrant, since the emotional overlay and psychological feelings are different.

The best example are the group of Expats from India that I have met, in Kuala Lumpur, superb individuals, on par on an international intellectual forum anywhere in the world. What a difference between them and the immigrant Indians of a century ago, or the tourists from the various countries who come to gawk at the man made structures of KL..

 

I have always lived in more than one country at any time in my life, except the early dependent years and feel I am much better off for it. 

Give it a try, live in another country which is not your own.. for a while…you will come out ahead..

{dedicated to Sharm, Abid, Brijesh and  MunChing in KL, who was an expat in NYC}

 

 

How to Make a Difference... Myanmar

Just before they left Yangon, I called the three girls aside and with the help of William, discussed with them their plans for the future.

Ei To Win, the youngest one said, she is very interested in sewing and would love to become a seamstress. she needs a sewing machine to improve her skills and learn a living and support her family, rather than selling hats at the beach.

Tin Tin Aye, on the left, said she would like to learn English, so that she could hope to work in one of the hotels at the beach. She also was tired of being a hat seller at the beach. She already knows of a teacher who gives classes at his home and there are about five students taking English lessons. I asked William to find out about the classes to see how authentic are the classes and whether or not the teacher is committed .Otherwise to scout around the village to find an English teacher for Tin Tin Aye. She also supports her family.

Pa Pa Win the tallest on the right has been known for her talent to draw and sketch and make designs of clothes. This ambition is way beyond the scope of the village. She has already identified a teacher in the village of Bogalay in the Delta region of Ayerrawarry river. Fortunately she has an older brother and an older sister living there, and she could learn from the teacher while helping them out on their roadside stall selling food. 

Discussing with William, who would take charge of the matters in Chaungtha for the welfare of the girls and I with the help of my friends would like to make their dreams come true..English lessons for Tin Tin Aye; a sewing machine for Ei To Win and art and painting lessons for Pa Pa Win in Bogalay. He would inform me of the total on going cost of these, and I am sure it would be in the manageable range. Thank God he has a telephone number which can be reached from outside.

I am already looking forward to my next trip to Myanmar.. i will make every attempt to see the girls and William and also a kind doctor i have met who showed the tomb of the last Moghul emperor.. would love to do some Voluntary clinics for diabetes and also become involved in teaching the patients and the doctors in Yangon.  We will see.. as every one who is following the news from Burma, nothing is predictable...