dimanche 14 juillet 2013
LIFE WITHOUT LONGINGS OR REGRETS..FERTILE GROUND FOR HAPPINESS
Life should be without Longings and Regrets
Once when I was a Junior Doctor at a hospital in Brisbane, Australia, I remember leaning on the wall to support myself, to relieve my mind of the intense nostalgia of my life in Melbourne, especially some special friends.
I have never again experienced that depth of Nostalgia; anoransa in Spanish and even better, Saudade in Portugese.
Being fond of Mornas and Coladeras from Cabo Verde, a group of islands full of nostalgia and sodade, I learned to convert my nostalgia to fondness: the country I love most, Cuba remains in my heart, not as a weeping wound but a flower with an eternal perfume.
The countries which provided me with so much joy for the past few years: Myanmar, Malaysia and Indonesia, all are blanketed with a tenderness, that extends to its people, its scenery and its food.
I am grateful and I look forward to the next encounter.
Whether in Bali with a Japanese friend involved in saving the Jungles of Borneo or in Miami with two delightful new friends from Aarhus in Denmark, to them I say, quoting my favourite poet Pablo Neruda: I have lived so much that I want to go on living
The other side of Saudade: missing something or someone even before you have experienced their departure is Regrets. Songs and Poetry all express it elegantly.
I am sure you can think of one or two popular songs with lyrics that include Regrets…
It was the anthropologist, Margaret Mead who scorned at the idea that Regrets should be relegated to older age and hope to an younger age..
It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.
Each encounter in life, for me, is full of possibilities and one should explore it, but neither regrets nor longings would arise if there are no attachments.
Here the Buddhist, Yogic philosophy converge, and this would resonate with those people who follow the words of Krishnamurti.
We are the things we possess, we are that to which we are attached. Attachment has no nobility. Attachment to knowledge is not different from any other gratifying addiction. Attachment is self-absorption, whether at the lowest or at the highest level. Attachment is self-deception, it is an escape from the hollowness of the self. The things to which we are attached, property, people, ideas, become all-important, for without the many things which fill its emptiness, the self is not.
Decrease your desires. I was taught. Be grateful for what you have and don’t be unhappy with that which you do not have, said my Indian teachers.
Attachment makes the soil of your heart and soul infertile for happiness.
Here I must thank YMC, my dear friend from KL, who made me aware of the Kleishas, the structural defects of the mind, who acts as a gatekeeper for my kleishas whenever they rise up in my heart.
Among the Indians, nothing happens without the basis of a Relationship, in the social context. So life has become one long series of experiences of intensely savouring the experiences of others while offering to exchange your own to listen and learn from the others.
It is when you wish to hang on to those sweet moments or further indulge in them, that nostalgia and regrets arise. This particular friend who gave me that intense feeling of Nostalgia at a Brisbane hospital, explained it very clearly: We love each other so much, that we must never see each other again, in this way we will always have each other..
Written in Miami, on this day the skies are a misty gray, with expectant clouds with thunder and rain, after meeting two delightful friends from Denmark, and think of a recent encounter in Bali